Looking back at vacation

Ahh yes. I have returned from my vacation to the lovely confines of western philadelphia, where you can find plenty of african american folk. Now, a look back at the rest of my spring break and some of the highs (and lows).

This vacation definetly had it all. Day 1 was Universal Studios, and you can read about that on the previous rant. Day 2 sent me to Fort Lauderdale to a Mets spring training game, but I'm gonna ignore that for now, b/c I can think of only about 10 people who would wanna hear about it. So instead I will talk about the tail end of my spring break, which brought me an aufruf and a wedding. Yes, Mazel Tov to my dear friend and ex-roomate, Buddy or Bavi, and the wedding was great. But of course, it had its awkward moments for me.

Lets start with the aufruf, which took place in a hotel named the Saxony. This hotel confuses me b/c it was only occupied by people over 90 years old and us. I had some good fun in the lobby by yelling out "Bubbi!!" and seeing how many women turned their heads. But then one lady turned her head so suddenly, that she had to go to the hospital for a neck problem and I felt badly. So that was the end of that. But we youngsters tried to bring a renewed vibrance to this place, and I think we succeeded somewhat. We sang in the dining room with some random fat guy who was the mashgiach and chazan and everything all in one. We could not take over davening, however, which lasted a torturous 3 hours. It was a long haul that felt like Yom Kippur.

Shifting gears now towards the actual wedding which took place on sunday evening...I will skip my saturday night activities in south beach, but you can always discuss that with me privately if you are curious. Wedding was great...had it all- great food, great band, great friends reunited and dancing with arms around eachother. Really the kind of moments that you just love and make you smile non-stop. But the wedding also brought me two basic topics which I knew right away would make this RANT.

Firstly, a wedding like this always brings you the awkward encounter. You forget about it and don't think about who you may run into from your past. and then BOOM...it smacks you in the face. And so, I was enjoying myself at the shmorg and trying to figure out why they don't cut the deli into smaller pieces b/c its really hard to eat those big pieces w/out a knife, and then I saw a girl that I had once pursued from my past. It should be noted that she was not married or with any guy, so it wasn't at the highest level of awkwardness. Still, this is a girl I had tried to call a few times and go out with, and then given up on b/c she seemed very apathetic to my shinanigans. So the question I faced was how to go about doing this tonight. Should I take the high road and just walk over and go with..."hey, u remember me? how have u been?" Or should I maybe wait to see if she takes the initiative. Or should I just play the ignoring game, which I believe every girl sees right through. (They just know when you are lying...frustrating s) Anyway, you guessed it, I not only played the ignoring game, but also the "scurry away like the three stooges" game, anytime I got near her. I think she actually saw me running at one point. But anything goes in March Madness.

Secondly, I was minding my own business at dinner, when I encountered the terrible "PDA" or public display of affection. OK, I am not a fanatic who is going to push my religious views on anyone. If you wanna touch ur g/f or b/f, thats your business, but don't do it in front of me please. Especially if the two of you do not make an attractive couple. I should add that I am not anti all PDA. I think a hug when you see the person is fine, and a hand hold is fine as well. But the following is not fine and makes me want to vomit: 1) Sitting on lap. I'll get you a chair honey, please spare me. 2) The wing thing...not really sure how to describe this, but usually the guy gets behind the girl and grabs her arms and they sometimes make a weird wing motion like in Titanic. Its gay, don't do it in front of me please. 3) Making out. obviously. no explanation needed at this point. Furthermore, I must also acknowledge my disgust with couples who use openly affectionate terms in front of me. Don't call your g/f or b/f "honey", "sweetie", "baby", or anything else that makes you sound like an old married couple. No one wants to hear it.

In closing, I just want to wish everyone a happy Adar and an enjoyable March Madness. Remember, anything goes b/c its March Madness. GN