eye contact

First of all, its Adar, so everyone should get happy. Do whatever u must to be in a constant state of glee and know that this is what G-d wants. Now, I must RANT.

First, the rumors are true. I went on a date on Saturday night, which means that I definetly have some more entertaining stories to add to my long list of disturbing and awkward date incidents. But somehow this date went very well, as I'm sure my date will agree. During my post-date analysis, I asked how I did with eye-contact. My date said I was fine, but I am still quite unsure. You see, eyecontact has been a major problem for me throughout my social history.

It all started in 8th grade when a female friend, who was probably genuinly looking out for me, informed me that my eyes seemed to focus on a place they should not be. I told the girl that I was simply short, and I was looking straight ahead, and in 8th grade girls are still taller than boys (or at least were still taller than me) So while other guys looked straight ahead at girls' faces, I ended up looking straight ahead at...well, not at girls' faces. And the problem has only grown throughout the years. Now I am at a normal height and able to look at a person's face, but I always find myself thinking of crazy things during these moments. If i am looking at a person, I will think of what would happen if i suddenly punched or kissed the person. Or i picture the person's skin being peeled off to reveal an alien or robot. And it totally ruins my concentration to the pt where I can't even hold a normal conversation, b/c I am imagining these ridiculus scenarios. Somehow, I am able to maintain eye contact at the worst times. Like I have no problem looking at girls through the machitzah, and I wont even look away when they see me. So I'm always looking at the wrong things and times, and I cant keep eye contact at the right times.

And this is part of a much greater physical contact/intimacy problem. Lets go back to the first (and only??do u buy that?) kiss , when the girl had to tell me that I was supposed to kiss her. SO i went for it, and ended up kissing her nose. Great. Similarly, there was (and still is?) a minhag in highschool that you were supposed to quickly exchange kisses on the cheek upon seeing a female at a social scene. And I hated this minhag, b/c I always screwed up this simple manuever. Either I would turn my head the wrong way and bump heads with the girl, or end up kissing her forehead or hair. Never ever did it right.

So for a guy like me, who may very well be "intimately challenged", shomer nagiah is a real blessing. Previously, this is how a conversation would go with a girl and me.

Girl: hey the fades, give me a hug u cute member of the loli-pop guild
Me: Ummm...nah
Girl: Why not!!
Me: Get away.

But now, with the availability of shomer nagiah...watch what happens for me.

Girl: The fades, give me a hug
Me: No
Girl: Why?
Me: B/c I am Shomer Nagiah
Girl: Wow, that is awesome. good for you!!!!

So no more awkward physical moments for me. The lesson? be happy about all the halachos b/c they can sometimes help us in some unexpected ways. Maybe this RANT doesnt apply to you, but I'm sure you can apply it in some way. GN and Chodesh Tov.