closing thoughts.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end" or something like that.

You all remember the overplayed song during our highschool years, right? Hopefully you do. Anyway, it happens to be that the song is very simple, yet very true. Here I am, on the eve of my departure to Israel, which can certainly be considered a new beginning to some extent. Yet it really stems from the ending of my first year of law school. I would not have gotten a job in Israel if I had not seen the flyer posted in the halls of my law school. And I would not have had the desire to stay in Yeshiva for the upcoming weeks untill shavuos, if not for my spending a year in a spiritually void environment such as PennLaw. Therefore, I can go so far as to say, that if not for spending my first year in PennLaw, I would not be going to Israel for the next couple of months. SO the year of law school was really all for the best as it has led me back to Israel, both to learn and to work. We call this line of thinking "Hashkacha Pratis", and it is a cornerstone of our faith.

As you may have realized, I have begun to write less and less on this blog. This will now be the last post for a good while, and perhaps the last one ever. Therefore, I simply want to write what I feel- for better or for worse... b/c that is how this whole thing got started. I just wanted to write how i feel, and try to communicate that to others. I hoped that it would help them and make them laugh and smile, but the main purpose of this blog was just to get my thoughts onto paper. So that is how its going to end.

22 years old, trying to cling onto your religious beliefs, and single, is not the easiest place for a person to be mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. What are the lessons that we can all learn from this? First of all, anyone who is still in college should learn to enjoy every single day they are living. Once you leave, you have officially entered the "real world", and as much as you may try and run away or ignore it, its gonna be there waiting for you. You will need to find a job, or bust ur butt in gradschool or something. Its not pretty- this concept of finally growing up, especially if you just love being a clown like I do. But it happens, and it happens fast, and its a struggle. What gets you through it is two things: friends and family. So look around you and be thankful for your friends, and know that you can call them at any time and cry on their shoulder and tell them every little thing that bothers you. And look at your family, and give them a hug, and don't be afraid to look them in the eye and say I LOVE YOU. No one can get through life alone, thats why we have friends and family.

Another huge lesson is just to be happy, and not let little things get you down. I can't tell you how many times I have been a victim of this one, and I am definetly still working on it. Anyone who has spent a summer in HASC knows this lesson and probably no longer struggles with it. I can honestly tell you that last summer in HASC was the happiest I have ever been in my life. Why is that? Were things so good for me socially? Absolutely not. Was it b/c I got paid tons of money to do nothing? No, although that certainly helped. I was the happiest man on earth b/c every morning I got to wake up and walk to minyan, and just hug the campers. And thats all they wanted. They just want a hug or a pat on the back or something so simple. And then they just smile, b/c you showed them love and you showed them care. And i just loved that, it just made me so happy. And when a kid falls in the dining room and is crying but at the same time he says "Gam zuu l'tova", that also just made me so happy. And at Eicha, when I saw an adult camper sobbing at the words of the Megillah, even though he had no idea of what it meant, that also just made me so happy. B/c it was simple, and it was beatiful, and it showed that every jew really does have a Neshomah, and I had seen living proof of that. A nerdy highschool teacher of mine used to say "simplicity is beauty and beauty is truth". Never knew why he kept saying that or what it meant, untill last summer. So learn to appreciate the little things. Learn to appreciate your health and a hug and a smile. It will make you so happy.

Last lesson is to take advantage of the oppurtunites we are given. This really can cover anything at all. If you are given a chance with a girl, don't make a stupid mistake that can ruin it. If you are given a chance to learn in Yeshiva for a few weeks, you go and take it. You dont think about it b/c there is nothing to think about. And certainly, if you are given a chance to work in Israel, you take it. Everyone likes to talk about how they want to move to Israel. For some people, its a condition before going on a first date. For me, its a dream, and I have no idea how to make it a reality. But trying to work there for part of the summer is definetly a start. This was not an easy decision. Its not easy to live alone in America, and may even be more difficult in Israel. But its the chance of a lifetime. We are all going to be given these types of chances in different aspects of our lives. Are we going to take them or just keep on walking?

I want to thank my friends and others who really got me through the dreaded first year of law school. I want to thank my family for everything, I'd be screwed without them. I Love you all. I want to get on that plane to Israel and see everyone at the airport. We will all get on our flights and arrive safely. We will all land and go to the Kotel and it will be a really big social scene, but no one will care. On the guys side, there will be a huge circle, like nothing we have ever seen. There will be chareidim, and chilonin, and soldiers, and rich americans from the 5towns, and baalei teshuvah types, and carlebach people, and we will all be dancing. We wont get tired of it, and we wont get hungry, and we wont ever need to stop. That is my dream. Thanks for listening.

Just a day at the ballgame

First of all, I gotta be honest with you people. I have had writer's block for awhile now, and I probably still have it, but since school is over for me (lasted 4 months), I should probably at least take a few minutes to provide everyone with something entertaining to read. So, I will do my best...

Today is a great day for people who live in Washington Heights or Spain, b/c it is "Cinco D'Mayo". I believe that this day commemorates some obscure battle in which the Spaniards beat the French somewhere. Its really a great day to live in a Spanish neighborhood like the Heights because all the people are drunk and roaming the streets, and selling lots of "trinkets" and old clothing. Now that I think about it, thats really everyday in the Heights, once the weather turns somewhat nice. And its not just the Heights; I really really believe that every person starts to get a little wacky once the weather turns somewhat nice. Older female teachers in elementary school used to call this "spring fever", but its really just that people are happy that its not freezing cold. Either way, to me that is the symbolic meaning of "Cinco D'Mayo". Its the day that ushers in thelaid back atmoshphere that always accompanies the spring and summer.

And yet, for Jews, we must contrast this with Sefirah, symbolically a time of mourning. Then again, I guess this is only a contrast today, and only if you are of spanish descent. Still, it is very difficult to feel any sense of mourning b/c of the nice weather and various other reasons. Sefirah means no shaving, but that doesnt bother me b/c I look like a rugged mountain climber or spelunker. (carmen sandiago reference). Sefira means no music, but I changed that to mean no LIVE music, so i am unaffected by that halacha as well. Additionally, there are so many exceptions to the shaving thing, s/a dating, job, interview, meeting, shabbos. Basically, there is probably one day that you cant shave before Lag B'omer. Also, Sefirah becomes somewhat fun for me in light of the counting madness that occurs. Only March Madness is more exciting then seeing how long I can stay alive in the count. Whats even more fun is the "hinting" to other people of what day we are up to by saying "last night was so and so". I always want to give them a little wink when I say it, but since I cant really wink, i usually just say "wink, wink". Its pretty awkward for everyone after that.

Anyway, b/c it is Cinco D'Mayo, I went to a Mets game. For those of you who don't know, the Mets are the greatest collection of Spanish men, since the Conquistadors. It was a great day, with good tailgaiting in a parking lot that we didnt pay for, good seats that we didnt pay for, and a Mets victory over my hometown phillies. In the back of my mind, I kept wondering if I should be celebrating Cinco D'Mayo at a ballgame, during Sefirah. But then I saw a few shidduch dates, and I knew it was ok to go to the game, at least for "tachlis". On a small sidetrack, there is a kiss cam at Shea which shows "couples" in the crowd and urges them to kiss. The entire crowd roots them on, and its usually an older couple and its kind of sweet, although I feel mildly gay for just writing that. (if there is such a thing as "mildly" gay.) ANYWAY, a couple nights ago, a friend and former chavrusah of mine who is single and very handsome, told me that they showed a shidduch date on the kiss cam. Somehow, despite the entire crowd booing them, they managed not to engage in the kissing motion. Would I have been able to resist this insane amount of peer pressure? NO. Would the girl have slapped me right after? YES. This guy who was able to resist is a tzadik. I salute him.

But i digress. At the end of the day I returned to my car to find that someone had decorated it with bbq sauce. This is indeed a new and unique form of anti-semitism/vandalism. Maybe this was G-d's way of telling me that I should not be celebrating with the Spaniards so much, but probably not. G-d's way of telling me that will probably be an eternal feeling of regret and despair in Gehhennom. But it was all for the best, b/c it forced me to get a carwash, which I had never done for my new car. And if this RANT wasnt so long , I would tell you all about the carwash. I guess I'm outta the writers block. Good luck to everyone with finals, and happy cinco d'mayo.