The Fades Rant

I'm the Fades, and I rant b/c i have some time to. I dont know..i'll talk about many things on this blog. Religion, girls, life. Thats about it. So really, I'll talk about 3 things.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Curious Case of the Overzealous Samaritan

Today, like every weekday morning, I took the NYC subway system to my place of work. As usual, the subway had its share of bizzare characters, events and sights. However, this time I was the unfortunate victim of a new type of strange subway character. I refer to the Overzealous Samaritan.

Overzealous is probably not the right description for this woman's behavior, but I am not sure if overimposing is a word. I will explain her behavior and then the dear readers can vote on the correct description. Text in your answers to American Idol.

Sometimes the subway cars make sudden stops and people without good balance can fall or stumble. I am one of those people without good balance. I wonder if this is directly tied to the fact that I am a terrible athlete. Is having a good center of balance a prerequisite to being a good athlete? Has there ever been a good athlete with vertigo? I always try to bend my knees and maintain a low center of gravity to prevent from any possible stumbling or falling, but I have no idea if this is actually an effective technique. The easiest way to conteract the possible dangers of subway stumbling is simply to grab hold of the handbars, but there are a number of problems with this technique. 1) Handbars are often not available to be grabbed on crowded cars; in that case it may be better to just allow yourself to fall into a fat person's cushiony belly. 2) Some are hesitant to touch handbars b/c of germs. I am not concerned with this b/c the subway is already one big germ bubble. This has been scientifically proven. 3) I prefer NOT to hold the handbars b/c it is more fun not to. Trying to keep your balance while a drunkard drives the train is about as fun as it gets on the way to work. If you fall, deduct 2 points. If you stumble, deduct 1 point. At the end of the month, compare your rankings with friends and win a free metro card.

Anyway, I was having my fun and living on the edge this morning, when the Overzealous Samaritan ("OS") felt the impulsive need to ruin everything. Keep in mind that I was also listening to my Ipod Nano-Nano on the highest of volumes, so as to possibly annoy as many other people as possible. This OS starts talking to me, but I try to ignore her. This works for about 5 seconds and then she starts tapping me. I have to now recognize her tappage and remove my headphones for what I expect to a message of some importance. Instead I get: "You have to hold on to the bar, otherwise you will fall". I understand that the OS behavior can be defended as genuine and other nice things, but I disagree. I think the OS oversteps her boundries by directing me to hold the bar. That is my personal choice. I also believe that part of what drives the OS behavior is a self-serving drive to feed the ego. This probably is not true in many OS cases, but it sure makes me feel better about being a much worse human being than these people.

The end of the Subway ride went like this: Obviously, I had to follow her instructions or else it would have been incredibly awkward and hostile between us for the remaining 6 minutes of the ride. You do not want to create an awkward and hostile tension with someone you will never see again, but have to spend 6 minutes standing next to.

"In what other situations can the OS strike"?, you ask yourself, with that voice in your head. Apparently, the OS has struck enough in the context of plane crashes, such that the airlines now have to warn us during the safety talk to first secure our own oxygen masks and then worry about other people. I understand a parent first trying to help a child with their oxygen mask, but this type of extreme benevolence is inexcusable in any other situation. Who are these people that feel the need to go around making sure everyone else can figure out the oxygen masks before actually making sure they will live? How good must a good Samaritan be! It sets the bar way too high for other good Samaritans, imposing on them a threshold of "Great Samaritans". This is not fair to society. If everyone feels compelled to be a Great Samaritan, we will lose our Good Samaritans. Is it not better to have many Good Samaritans than few Great Samaritans?!?

Well that was fun. I hate people like the OS. I hate people that would try to help me figure out the oxygen mask w/out first helping themself. The oxygen mask game is fun, just like the subway falling game. Let me just play on my own.


Post a Comment

<< Home


Lawyer Finder