Saturday Night's allright for anything

This rant may be a bit more rantier than the usual ones, b/c I really am just gonna go through how I spent my last Saturday night, which was probably as abnormal and random as saturday nights can get. But before I get to that, I just want to express my anger concerning a recent purchase I just made. I just bought a "case" and "car adopter" for my i-pod nano-nano, which cost a combined 38.36 american dollars. I just want to say that this is getting absurd. If one purchases one of these I-pods, one should not need to pay any additional money for it to function at its highest level. The 250 bucks should already ensure that the screen won't get scratched and that it will play in my purple ford taurus. Its gonna get outta hand soon....I can imagine the following scenario in my head:

You cannot eat that bagel while listening to your I-pod, You need to now purchase a special I-pod bagel. It cost 343 dollars. And no, that bagel does not come pre-sliced. You need to buy an extra I-pod bagel slicer for 23 dollars. And special I-pod cream cheese also. You get the point.

Back to Saturday night. My friend "knolly", tells me about a gathering in NYC for someone I don't know. This immedietly placed me in the typical "saturday night dillemma". Stay home and most probably engage in halachically muttar activity (b'tul z'man aside), or go out and potentially engage in non-muttar halachic activity. I consulted "Mom" on this issue, and she advised me "not to be a loser, and get the hell out of the house". So, knowing that I was fulfilling Kivud av v'eim, or maybe just Kivud eim, (which is easier to fulfill, which is why Av is put before Eim- not b/c men are better or anything, so if any femanist idiot tries to tell u that, punch them) I consulted a train schedule and was on my way. I also was accompanied by two other characters named "chief" and "romper", and we made a collective decision to attain food items before bording the LIRR party train. We got pizza and fries to go, and made the train w/ time to spare. This is all boring.

Now, u will notice that I referred to the train as the "LIRR party train", and I do not give u any guzmah here. If you go on the train on a saturday night towards NYC, everyone on the train will be drinking an alcoholic beverage. Most people will have this drink called "Olde English", which is for the lower class masses. Of course, since my parents, teachers, and rebeiim probably read this thing, me and my pals did not buy 24 oz beers at the exon station in west hempstead. We also did not bring some scotch in a water bottle with small l'chaim glasses. None of that happened. Good. Anyway, that being said the following weird incidences occured throughout the evening:

1) Slick Italian train car incident: We were stuck in a car with what seemed like 12 greasy Italian guys drinking the "Old E". I was too afraid to speak during the train ride, but I did listen to everything they said. Inevitably, the Jew slurring came, although I'm not quite sure this really qualifies as an anti-semetic comment:
"Hey, maybe i should get a falafel, with a side of babaganush, and MENAKEM SHNEERSON"
Umm...how the heck did these guys come up with that one??? I still don't know if I actually heard them say that. Very strange remark.
2) Super expensive Chinatown convenience store with upstairs seating area: Not sure if this was really in chinatown, but on our way to the gathering we saw a lot of chinese writing on all the stores. Since 1 or all 4 of us had to urinate, we decided to stop into one, and lo and behold- there was a whole seating area upstairs. We realized that we can just buy some non-alcoholic beverages here and sit upstairs and enjoy them. We also realized that we needed a key to the bathroom. Luckily, the Chinese guy gave it to us, but he also charged 5 times the normal price for a beverage. I think its b/c he knew we would make a copy of the key down the block, so that we could use it anytime we want in the future. That would be awesome....even if someone is in there, u can simply open the door and explain to him that this is your bathroom. Anyway, we stayed upstairs in this place for about an hour b/c we lost track of time and we are idiots.

3) Homeless or just maybe really drunk Asian guy in penn station: I have skipped the details of the gathering I attended b/c they do not concern the public. For details, you can consult my newest blog - "CheshbonHanefesh.blogspot.com". Anyway, we are sitting around penn station waiting for a 4 am train, when we see this asian guy sitting against a pole, and repeatedly screaming the same phrase over and over and over.
"Nice POakkk" Or maybe it was "Nice work" Or maybe it was "Nice Pork". Very unclear. A few observations here. Firstly, if you are really drunk or homeless or both, would u want to repeat the same meaningless phrase over and over. I know that when I talk to myself, I always like to change phrases to keep myself on my toes. I also change voices. Secondly, has anyone ever ever seen a homeless asian person? The answer is obviously no. Why is this? Maybe b/c every Asian person who makes it to America is presumably talented enough to have a profession. Maybe the homeless Asians are in Asia. I dont know.

Oh yeah..finally- to top this whole night off we see the same Scary Italian group waiting for the train at 4 am. I asked them how "Menakem Shneerson" tastes. They were puzzled, and luckily no punches were thrown. Just another saturday night of randomness.