the tipping point

I'd like to commence this rant by wishing a very happy Chol Ha'moed Sukkas to my YU modern orthodox readers, a Gut Moyed to my more Yeshivish readers, a Happy Chol Ha'moed Sukkot to my readers in secular colleges who try to pronounce everything with a fake Israeli accent, and a Happy Tabernacles to my unaffiliated readers. Hope I covered everyone with that.

I always love the Intermediate days of the long holidays, b/c of the unclear Halachic implications that accompany them. I have heard everything from "you cannot do any work at all on Chol Hamoed", to "you can do absolutely everything on chol ha'moed." I think the truth is somewhere in between. All I know is that a lot of really frum people like to go to the zoo now, and that I should be writing this rant with a "shinuy". I guess the only way I can really do that is by typing with my left hand. There is a guy in my class in law school who only has 1 arm, so I wonder how he would approach this shinuy problem. Maybe he would try to type with the stump part of the cut off arm, but maybe he gets immunity from this halachah b/c of his disability. It might be a moot point b/c I dont think he is Jewish, but its fun to think about if your deranged. As a side point, I would like to add that I bet this guy had no problem getting a job at any law firm. I can see the conversation in the hiring commitee's office going something like this:
"Lets see, this guy has 1 arm. Umm. Frank...How many one armed attorneys do we currently have in the office? OH, zero? Really...thats not good for our statistics. Lets give this guy the job so we can say we have a one armed guy working here".

I know the previous discussion made me sound insincere and callous, but I am merely attempting to point out some of the inherent advantages that can come up for someone with one arm. I definetly still feel sympathetic for this individual and his disability.

Switching gears now, I was on one of my famous east coast trips this past weekend. This time the destination was Baltimore MD. On my way back, I saw the little red/orange (color blind with that kinda stuff) gas tank sign light up, and realized that I probably only had anywhere from 10 minutes to 10 hours of driving time left. Naturally, I continued to check the light evey 3 seconds, started to panic, and eventually pulled into a "full service" gas station in Delaware. I had no idea what i was in for.

Out rushes a nice young caucasion with a badly shaped mustache, and he apologizes for being late. My thoughts included: "Late for what?" ; "is this guy going to murder me"; and "I feel bad for this guy." Anyway, I tell him i want 20 bucks regular, b/c for some reason i only put in 20 bucks every time. Not sure what the reason of this fades minhag is. And while this is going on, the young buckaroo immedietly begins washing my car so that its completley spick and span. (can i say that? Hispanic and span? terrible) Anyway, my windshield is completely clear now, and its like a whole new amazing driving experience. But the problem is that I only payed the guy the 20 bucks and I felt like I should have given him 21 bucks, but didnt have any singles. I saw a tear roll down his cheek as i handed him the 20, and I quickly stepped on the pedal, leaving him there in the dust.

This all just gets me thinking now...I dont understand how this society has decided who gets tips and who doesnt. The top tip-getters are: 1)waiter 2)Barber/haircutter person 3) Parking garage dude, but which one? The one in the booth, the one that gets car, both? Whatever. I was talking to my cousin about this pressing issue, and he said that maybe the tip is based on going beyond the "letter of the law." From now on , this will be referred to as the "Middas Chasidus Tipping theory". But, in practicality, i dont see this theory working out. We tip our waiters for simply bringing the food, and I dont know how they can make that into a "middas Chasidus", unless they give u a massage or they are one of those awesome waiters that always fill your cups up with water the second it gets empty. Actually, thats the bus boy or other dude that does that, so really he should get the tip. Strange. And as for the barber and parking garage guy- they dont do anything beyond simply doing their job!

Therefore, I would like to suggest another possible theory called the "Control theory of tipping". The three groups I have discussed above all have immense control over important things in our lives. The waiter can poison our food, the barber can cut off our head, and the parking man can crash our car. (Important caveat - has anyone EVER seen a woman working in a parking garage). B/c we are so worried about these things, and we are so thankful when they are performed without harm, we feel the need to give a little something extra in gratitude. The only hole in this theory is the hypothetical case of a doctor performing surgery. Lets say Aunt Ethel's triple bypass goes well, and all the ventricles and aortas are good to go. Shouldn't she give the Doctor 5 bucks or something, as a sign of ultimate gratitude for not killing her??? But thats what makes this a great theory - all great theories have some holes.

I dont know why I think of things like this. Happy Sukkos.