2000 anniversary special

If you look at the little counter on the bottom of this website, you will see that it reads some # above 2000. I have to say, that I never expected that this website would attract this many readers and would last this long. Like most things I have done in life, I figured it would last for about 3 weeks. But somehow, I keep going, and you guys keep reading, and the feedback I get is great. I want to thank everyone who reads this, and I would like to reward you right now with a very personal story.

Nothing is more fun for people, then when something completely embarrassing happens to someone, and everyone else can laugh at them. So I will now discuss the single most embarrasing moment of my life, and you can all laugh at my expense. Again, I wont do this often, but you all deserve this...

It was a time of simplicity and innocence for us in the first grade in HANC. It was before the desks were seperated and we still got to sit at co-ed tables in the class, and you could whisper things to the people around you and hope that the teacher didnt hear. This was considered to be living on the edge. I would pass the time by picking my nose, and trying to do it so that none of the girls at my table would see me. In this regard, not much has changed. I had a set of teachers we had cleverly nicknamed "THE GRUESOME TWOSOME". I think this name came from a ghostbusters character who was a monster with 2 heads, although i could be making that up completely. I am almost sure I had a figure of this monster, but I don't remember ever seeing such a monster in the classic Ghostbuster movies. The discrepancy between the movie and the action figures is quite puzzling, especially in regards to Slimer (or Sliymer??). Slimer the action figure, along with the other "ghosts" are meant to be frightening creatures, yet Slimer is depicted as a friendly and goofy ghost in the movie. And this gruseome twosome 2-headed monster is not even in the movie at all. Anddd the movie has a black guy as one of the ghostbusters!! In any event, this nickname was not exactly accurate for these teachers, because they were actually 2 seperate monstrous women, and not one monstrous woman with two heads.

Anyway, one half of the gruesome twosome had a brilliant idea: She loved coffee and decided to brew her own in the corner of the classroom. Lets see here...1st grade kids who are hyperactive and like to run around the class. A good idea would be to put a pot of boiling liquid in the corner and see what happens. Brilliant! So let me tell you what happened. I dont remember the exact details, but I was running around the room, and i tripped on the plug to this coffee pot, and somehow the entire pot of coffee ended up on my pants. Now...this is bad enough, in that I had burning hot liquid on my legs and other areas. But the punishment was not over. The teacher decided that it would be a good idea to strip me of these pants immedietly, and in front of all the females in the room. After all, I was in first grade, so I guess I had no right to privacy of any sort.

The real problem of course was that I was wearing my mickey mouse underwear that day. You see, I didn't get the memo in kindergarden that we werent supposed to wear cartoon underwear anymore. Well, there I was standing in a drenched pair of mickey mouse underwear in front of an entire class. I still do not understand why I was stripped of my pants in the classroom. Did Gruesome Twosome think that this was a major emergency, and I couldn't just walk to the bathroom and change there???? Whatever the reason, this was social suicide. For the rest of my life, I have had a problem approaching girls b/c of this. I always am insecure and think that they are one of the girls that saw me standing there in my mickey mouse underwear.

So for all of you out there who think that you have had something embarrasing happen to you, or who have social anxiety at times, just remember this story. Remember it and be happy it never happened to you. When you thank G-d for all you have, throw in this line. "Thank you G-d, for not having me stripped down to my mickey mouse underwear in front of the entire class". GN and keep reading.