The Fades Rant

I'm the Fades, and I rant b/c i have some time to. I dont know..i'll talk about many things on this blog. Religion, girls, life. Thats about it. So really, I'll talk about 3 things.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Davening foes.

This semester I had class every morning at the very early hour of 10:30 Am. If I want to go these classes, and not steal money from my parents, then I have to wake up about 9:30 Am or so, to leave ample time for showering, reading of sports on the internet, dressing, stealing deodarant from roomate, putting on teffilin, and walking to the law school building. However, there are times when I decide to attend a minyan for morning prayer services which is conveniently held at the Hillel- on the way to my walk to law school. This minyan occurs at the even more ridiculusly early hour of 8:40 AM, which means I will set my alarm clock for 8:15- to ensure that I will get to minyan exactly 10 minutes late. Obviously, I am always happier after attending the prayer services, b/c I really do believe it helps my day get started on the right "foot". BUt there are certain negatives I have encountered with this morning minyan experience, and those negatives are actually certain individuals.

First, we have the guy(s) that brings his tefillin in a canteen, like that my Mom packed me for camp in 6th grade. There are a bunch of these guys that have decided to forgo the traditional tefillin bag, and now put their tefillin in these canteens. Can anyone please explain to me how this practice has come about? Do these people also carry reserve water supplies in a tefillin bag. Maybe they are expecting to be led on some type of rugged hike during davening, and so now they are at least prepared to pack up their tefillin and go! I think the real reason for these canteens is that presumably soldiers in Israel pack their tefillin up like this, although I have no proof for this assertion. I will have to ask one of 3 people I know who actually were Israeli soldiers. Until then, I will assume this is how the practice started. The problem is, of course, that minyan in the Hillel at Penn is not a battlefield in which we are fighting arabs. Therefore, there is no need to bring the tefillin in this canteen type device. Please stop.

Second, we have the guy that comes to minyan daily and davens every word, and seems to be a real solid consistent Jew, yet inexplicably brings a newspaper with him, and reads it whenever he has a free moment. He seems to daven faster than everyone else, only to have time to read the top stories from today's news. Is it important to stay up to date with the current events? Probably, although I am not good at that. But does this have to be done during davening? Probably not. I'm not trying to rebuke this fellow, i just find the process to be odd. Also the folding of the paper is noisy. And it isn't really even a legitimate paper this guy is reading, its usually just the daily pennsylvanian, which is the school local paper. One other note about papers- why is the NY Times designed the way it is? It is very very impossible to read it while sitting on a toilet.

Third, we have a guy that sits right next to you, and moves his chair really close for some reason, and then proceeds to blow his nose and examine it for the rest of the services. He uses every tissue that exists in the room, and crumples them up in little balls on the table. Some of these tissues touch the edge of your siddur and make u want to vomit. Sometimes he will sneeze and cough to give himself a break from the noseblowing. Usually, the sneeze or cough will result in some spit being fired onto your face. This will ruin the morning prayer experience.

So there you have it folks. Is it good to start your day by praying ? Sure is. But just make sure to avoid some of these known foes along the way...or else your prayer time won't be too enjoyable.


  • At 9:39 AM, Blogger AlanLaz said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger AlanLaz said…

    Let it be known that these are problems only found at the Penn Hillel. Problems more likely to be found at the UMD Hillel are:

    1. Schmerling throwing up in the corner after drinking his face off all night, yet inexplicably making it to minyan.

    2. Rabbi being forced to rebuke someone for hooking up with girl in the middle of the Amidah. The worst part of this is that both parties are wearing Tefillin.

    3. Kiddush club members looking out the window, marveling at the number of whisky bottles that have been thrown into the yard adjacent to Hillel.

    That was a good comment if I may say so myself.

  • At 1:26 PM, Blogger Danny the Manny said…

    Is there irony in the fact that posting this at 8:33 AM made you late for minyan this morning? Guess not.

  • At 6:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think I might be the nose blower. Maybe I should stop. On second thought, it's a lot of fun, now way am I giving it up!


Post a Comment

<< Home


Lawyer Finder