Pardon me Ms. , Is that my Yarmulka??

Anyone who has ever spent a Shabbos on a secular college campus, or perhaps even in Stern School of Obedience for Women, will be able to relate to this very important post. Here we go...
I was at the Hillel House, when it was pointed out to me through the transparent Machitzah, that a girl was wearing a yarmulka during davening. She also had a lovely tallis. Now, lets get something straight right now- I have no problem with this girl's gender confusion. In fact, I really found it fascinating and humorous to observe. But it also made me think of some interesting questions. I have seen numerous yarmulka-clad women in my day, and all of them wear the serugah-type. Now, why is this?? Why don't you ever see one of these mixed up maniacs going "yeshivish" with the black velvet, or better yet, going black hat. One might think, (and I do) , that Barbra Streisand would have set the cross-dressing precedent with her spectacular performance in "Yentel". BUT, if this theory is true, you would see these wackjobs wearing a much more yeshivish style, instead of the colorful serugah types that are more common. Now, do these girls only wear their yarmulkas when they come to shul, or do they wear it in the comforts of their own home as well. Do they act like certain guys do, and remove the yarmulka when they go to a club or bar or whatever? Do they switch to a baseball cap for certain scenarios...or is it simply always that yarmulka. And furthermore, do they have a large selection sitting at home somewhere, or is it always the same damn one. You would assume that they want to pick out a matching one, depending on the outfit they are wearing, so my guess is that they have a nice variety to choose from.

Personally, when I look at one of these girls with a yarmulka, its the equivalent of looking at a girl with a mustache or beard or horrible mole or something very "off." There is something blatantly attached to her face/head that simply doesn't belong, much like facial hair. I would go as far to say, that even if the girl was very attractive, she would lose that element somehow by wearing the yarmulka. Why is this? B/c in my head, she turns everything upside down and causes me great confusion. But then again, this is a major hypothetical, b/c I have yet to see an attractive girl actually doing this.

What is the message that we should take from this rant? One message is to realize that girls who do this are acting illogically. They probably think this will help them achieve some sort of twisted equality, but this is biologically impossible. Last time I checked, these girls didn't have to go through the painful process of BRIS MILAH. My proposal is that if girls want to wear male-stuff, we should be allowed to cut off a part of one of their appendages. (is that a human- word, or only grasshoppers have that, or something?) Now, that would be true equality, as well as very disturbing. But then again, seeing this girl wear a yarmulka is also disturbing. Funny as hell and yet disturbing. GN