The Fades Rant

I'm the Fades, and I rant b/c i have some time to. I dont know..i'll talk about many things on this blog. Religion, girls, life. Thats about it. So really, I'll talk about 3 things.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Hate on an elevator

I've been meaning to write these two anicdotes (not to be confused with antidotes - like how torah is the antidote to the satan) for quite some time and I believe that they indicate why there is prevalent anti-semitism in this world.

Story one occured before getting on an elevator, in the James Tower, located on the Upper West Side. I was with my friend Owen, and we were going to visit the Steens in 8-H. As luck would have it (or wouldn't have it) only one elevator was working on this rainy friday afternoon, and all the Jews in James Tower were returning for the pre-shabbos rush. For readers not familiar with some of the basics of the Upper West Side, there are 3 buildings in which 90% of all single Jews live. They are (in alphabetical order) "James Tower, Key West, Westmont"...and all three have a "the" in front of the name, but i didn't include that just now b/c that would make alphabetical order annoying, and who doesn't love a good alphabetical order.

Anyway, this James Tower has 20 something floors, and only had this one elevator, and it was taking forever. I even considered walking the eight flights, but then remembered how I am extremely lazy. After repeatedly pressing the UP arrow, even though this doesn't help at all, I decided to also press the DOWN arrow as well. I'm not sure why I did this, b/c DOWN goes to the basement, and me and Owen didn't need to do laundry...we needed to get UP to 8H. Finally the elevator arrives and it is apparently going to go down b/c of my mistake. But then it does that weird elevator switch thing where it decides its not going down, but instead is going up, and the doors almost close without anyone of th 343 people wanting to go up even entering. Luckily, a heavyset bald man who was sweating stuck his fat foot inbetween the closing doors and saved us all another long wait.

So why is this a negative portrait of the Jewish people, you might ask? B/c once we got on the elevator this man unleashed a verbal tirade on me and owen, but mainly on me. He called me out in front of everyone on "my pressing the down button and wasting all of our time". I shook my head and laughed at this stunning accusation and that just got the fatman angrier and angrier. He said " shake your head, that will get you far in life". But so far its been working, so I'm not sure what the meaning of that comment was. Finally, after he finished his diatribe, I remarked out loud to the elevator "Is this an episode of Curb your this guy for real?" Of course, this was merely a rhetorical question, so nobody answered.

People like this guy...he is one reason for anti-semitism. You cannot freak out if someone accidentally presses a down button. Then again, I didn't do it accidentally, just for no reason...although there isn't that great a difference. Also, the guy wasn't wearing a yarmulka so I actually have no proof that he was Jewish. But only Jewish singles, and some african americans live in James tower, so I must conclude that he was in fact a very stressed out Jewish male. As far as my research goes, there are no african american Jews in James Tower, but there are many in Beit Shemesh.


  • At 10:33 AM, Blogger scwitt said…

    why is it that jews are always in a rush? even more so for NY jews...

  • At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know that guy. He works in idt and his name is bruce. Kogz

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger AlanLaz said…

    Why would Kogz post anonymously, yet write his name at the end?

  • At 6:38 AM, Blogger scwitt said…

    whats the second anicdote...thats only one?

  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger The Fades said…

    ure right, i will post the second soon, and it also isn't funny.

  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger The Fades said…

    ure right, i will post the second soon, and it also isn't funny.


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